We are AKBAR. We believe in the power of rock and roll. We love guitars. We abhor homophobia. And hetero-phobia. We enjoy a cold beer. We cannot abide a mean drunk. We don’t get organized religion. We like disco. We despise racism. We cannot respect disrespectful behavior. We do not condone “velvet ropes.” We do not care who is a celebrity and who is not. We love our friends. We can be silly. We do not understand gay Republicans. We wing it. We try to obey traffic laws. We do believe variety is the spice of life. We do not enjoy excessive profanity. Damn it. We think we’re Ginger, but we’re really Mary Anne. We love a parade. We would like to see Bush and Cheney brought to court. We are AKBAR. Love it or leave it. We can tolerate a happy drunk but not a sloppy drunk. We do not like shrill voices, especially indoors. We are happy to open the door for you. We love a good martini. We sometimes fall down. We admire musicians. We are distrustful of rabid fans. We enjoy a night on the town. We think we all need more exercise. We skinny dip. We LOVE L.A. and we ♥ N.Y. We’re partial to scruff. We miss our dearly departed friends and family. We look forward to making new friends and family. We like to travel. We love coming home to AKBAR.